


That Happened

by Yuhi_san



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Gen, Humor, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Shorts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-22
Updated: 2016-10-22
Packaged: 2018-08-24 01:10:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8350465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yuhi_san/pseuds/Yuhi_san
Summary: Collection of different Red vs. Blue shorts and snippets and literally anything that never turned out big.
First up, Wash tries to get used to the life with the Reds and Blues to the best of his abilities.





	

“Okay” Washington says in that tone of voice that Tucker hates ever since the two of them had the first real conversation. He sounds like he is talking to crazy people that don’t make sense and he somehow has to mentally steady himself for that. But Wash is the one who has a few screws lose, like totally.

“Again, can you explain to me what the hell is going on here?” Wash gestures in the directions where shots are ringing from. Not that Tucker can see anything, after all they both crouch behind some rocks for cover. “They are shooting at us, dude. That’s what happened the past few days. You would have noticed if you hadn’t been sleeping all the time.”

“I haven-” the Ex- Freelancer starts but reconsiders. “Never mind. They’re shooting at us. _Obviously_. What I don’t understand is _why_.” He had came up to the hills because he had been looking for Caboose when Tucker came running towards him, screaming and followed by Grif and Simmons in the jeep.  
Polka music and the sounds of a machine gun, what a winning combination.

“Suck it Blue!” Simmons screams over the sound of gunfire. He laughs a little too megalomaniac given that they didn’t do anything but firing against the rock Wash and Tucker sat behind since a few minutes.

“You’re pretty fucked, guys!” Grif yells and Tucker pops up from behind his cover.

“You know who was pretty and fucked? Your sister! By me! Bow chicka bow WOAH!”

Wash yanks Tucker back down before he would get a few bullets through his brain. “Don’t do that!” he snaps. “I don’t get why they are shooting us but-”

“Dude, shut up” Tucker tells Wash with annoyance. “They are the Reds, we are the Blues, we fight with each other to get the second base in this fucking canyon in the middle of nowhere. You were a Freelancer, didn’t you guys set this up?”

“ _Exactly_!” Washingtons voice goes up a little too high and even though it sounds hilarious Tucker kind of hates it. He sounds almost like Church before one of his famous fits of anger. “It’s all just a set up. You know that, they know that. So why are you still fighting? I though you guys were-”

“Hey get your asses out from there you dipshits!”

“Go run off with your tails between your legs!”

Washs fingers twitch. He tries not to clench his hands to a fist. “You know what”, he says in the driest voice Tucker heard so far. “That’s enough.”

Tucker watches with wide eyes how Wash brings a little something to light that looks alarmingly much like a grenade. With anyone else he wouldn’t been all too worried. An while yes, Tucker also agreed to give the crazy dude that tried to kill them a chance, that didn’t make the dude any less crazy.

“Uh” he says nervously. “Didn’t we just agree that this is just a set up?”

Instead of an answer Wash just tosses the grenade over the rock.

 

Turns out it’s just a flash grenade. It also turns out that it takes (a still recovering) Washington forty-three minutes to scare the shit out of Grif and Simmons, take over their warthog, confiscate all their weapons and explosives (including even Sarges shotgun) and get Sarge to rise to the challenge of building a horrible revenge delivering robot out of only spoons.

And all he needed was a little help from Caboose to move the really heavy stuff.

 

Now Tucker sits on top of their base, idly going through the ration of Oreos and other sweets he and Caboose scavenged once Red base was left defenseless. He lets his legs hang over the edge and occasionally waves the empty Oreo pack just to get another tortured wail out of Grif. Maybe letting that Washington guy stay with them wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

Talking about the devil…

He is still sitting on the crates with the ammo and staring morosely ahead. He hasn’t moved in over half an hour and Tucker suspects him to either have fallen asleep or waiting for the end if his countdown to finally have his overdue psychotic breakdown.

When nothing happens for another ten minutes, Tucker sighs heavily. Boooring.

“So dude you gonna, like, sit there all night or what?”

Washington doesn’t even turn his head and just keeps staring ahead and watch whatever it is that Sarge does in the distance.

“If that’s what it takes” he says, still morosely and somberly enough for Tucker to want to suffocate on his Oreo.

“Uh, sure. Whatever. Go ahead but I’d be more worried about Caboose setting the base on fire. You know, again. That’s way more likely than Sarge building a killer robot out of what- cutlery?”

“Never underestimate your enemy, Private.”

Instead of replying Tucker just shoves the last Oreo into his mouth and mulls over the fact that it is now Washington who takes this whole ‘they’re the enemy’ situation way too serious.

Caboose comes up to him eventually, a pack cookies in one hand and a pack orange juice in the other. “He’s very dramatic.”

Tucker snorts. He can’t believe that he has to agree with Caboose.

“Tell me about it.”


End file.
